


Fairy Tales Gon Bad

by Amystis



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Fairy Tale Elements, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24057493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amystis/pseuds/Amystis
Summary: aka. It's all fun and fairy tales until Hisoka appears.With the magic formula "Simsala Grimm", Gon and Killua can travel to the world of Simsala, where the heroes and heroines of fairy tales live. Together with their friends Leorio and Kurapika, they re-live various magical adventures.
Kudos: 3





	1. Snow White and the Seven Hunters

**Author's Note:**

> A fic I wrote for a HxH-themed fairy tale challenge. This is based on the children's TV-Show "Simsala Grimm". Hope you'll like it!

_A long, long time ago,_

_When miracles used to be reality_

_There was a spell that opens the gates to the world of Simsala_

_That magical place where all the famous heroes live_

_And the place fairy tales call their home._

_Alakazam! Simsala Grimm!_

**“Are you ready for an adventure?”**

“Of course, we are!” Gon cheered. He was a boy of green hair, wearing a wizard’s hat almost bigger than his own head. His round glasses slid down his nose. He deftly put them back in place.

“Let’s go!” Killua was just as excited as his friend. The bells from his fool’s cap chimed with every move the white-haired boy made.

The friends boarded the floating book before them and flew towards the portal.

**“On to a new adventure! To the world of Simsala!”**

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She had skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood and hair as black as ebony wood. Therefore, people called this beautiful princess Snow White.

One day, Snow White was out alone, picking flowers when suddenly two curios visitors appeared.

“Why hello there, friendly strangers! My name is Snow White! And who might you be?” Kurapika said with a smile.

“Huh?!” the boys exclaimed.

“Kurapika?! You are the princess?!” Gon marvelled.

“You’re kidding, right? Your hair isn’t even black!” Killua added.

“I was the most feminine character they could find, so play along for now,” Kurapika whispered, keeping his smile.

“Alright… Nice to meet you Snow White. My name is Gon!”

“I’m Killua.”

While the two friends introduced themselves, a huntsman approached the group, a dagger in his hand.

When they noticed the threat, they could not believe their eyes.

“Leorio?!” Gon exclaimed upon seeing his friend wearing hunter’s clothes and a feathered cap. “Don’t tell me you are playing the huntsman!”

“I am so sorry Snow White! The queen has ordered me to kill you! And then return your lungs and liver as proof of your death!” Leorio visibly struggled to keep a straight face upon his friend’s remark.

“What if you return somebody else’s lungs and liver to the queen, and let me run away?” Kurapika said after thinking a little.

Killua turned his nails into claws, “If you need some organs, I can get you some!”

“H-Hold on!” Kurapika quickly said, “I was thinking about the lungs and the liver of a boar or something.”

“That is a brilliant idea! I shall return a boar’s lungs and liver to the queen! While you, Snow White, must flee to the woods!”

“Got it! Thanks, Leorio, uh- I mean, huntsman!” Gon said, and together with Killua and Kurapika he hurried towards the woods.

And so, they ran over sharp stones and through thorns, and wild animals jumped at them, but they did them no harm.

“Say Kurapika, uh- I mean, Snow White. Why is the queen trying to kill you?” Gon asked while running.

“It is because my stepmother, the queen, is a vile and jealous woman,” Kurapika sighed, and the memories became so vivid, that an image of the evil queen appeared before them.

When they saw the memory, they could not believe their eyes.

“Leorio?!” Killua exclaimed upon seeing his friend wearing a black dress and a golden crown. “Don’t tell me you are playing the evil queen!”

“Mirror, mirror on the wall,” Leorio visibly struggled to keep a straight face upon his friends remark. “Who in this land is the fairest of all?”

The mirror in the memories answered, “You my queen, are fair, it’s true. But Snow White is a thousand times fairer than you.”

“I think it’s not that difficult to be prettier than Leorio,” Killua commented with a grin.

“WHY YOU LITTLE-!” Leorio ran towards Killua, but before the young boy could suffer any harm, the image of the evil queen and the mirror vanished.

“As you can see,” Kurapika sighed, “My stepmother is so jealous of my beauty that she will try everything to kill me.”

As soon as he had finished his sentence, a little house appeared in the woods, and the boys entered it.

Inside the house everything was small: The chairs, the tables, the plates, even the food. Gon, Killua and Kurapika made themselves at home. They ate from the plates and drank from the goblets and then they went to sleep each in one of the seven tiny beds they found.

When they awoke, they could not believe their eyes.

“Leorio?!”, Kurapika exclaimed upon seeing his friend wearing a white fake-beard and a dwarven hat, “Don’t tell me you are playing the seven dwarves!”

“Oh, good heaven! Oh, good heaven! This child is so beautiful! You must be Snow White!” Leorio visibly struggled to keep a straight face upon his friend’s remark. “You are so beautiful! If you will keep the house, cook, make beds, wash, sew and knit, keep everything clean and orderly, you shall stay here!”

“Uhm- Alright. Thank you,” Kurapika said after exchanging a short glance with Gon and Killua.

“Splendid! I shall head to the seven mountains to mine for ore and gold! You Snow White, be careful about your stepmother! She will soon know that you are here. Do not let anyone in the house!”

And so, Leorio departed and Gon, Killua and Kurapika stayed back at the dwarves’ home.

“Hey, let’s explore the woods!” Gon, who could hardly stay at one place for too long, proposed and together with Killua and Kurapika, he headed for the exit.

When they opened the door, they could not believe their eyes. However, they had gotten oddly used to it. 

Now, nobody exclaimed anything, upon seeing their friend wearing an old woman’s dress and a grey wig.

“Beautiful apples for sale, beautiful apples for sale!” Leorio visibly struggled to keep a straight face. Even if his friends left no remark.

“Oi, Snow White. There’s an old hag who wants to sell you some apples,” Killua said with a mischievous grin, “A really ugly, old, unshaved, smelly-”

“Argh! Enough now! Just take the stupid apple and shut up!” Leorio shouted and threw a single bright red apple at Killua. Fuming, he walked away from the house, leaving Gon, Killua and Kurapika alone with the ominous fruit.

“Careful now,” Kurapika said, “This apple could be a trap!”

“You sure?” Killua said, munching. A big piece was already missing from the apple. “It tastes really good. Don’t you want to give it a try?” he added.

“…Alright.” Seeing that Killua wasn’t afflicted by any poison, Kurapika also took a small bite from the apple. And collapsed on the ground immediately after. The apple turned green from its poison and rolled out of Kurapika’s lifeless hand.

“WAAAH!” Gon screamed. “Killua you are immune to any poison, of course the apple couldn’t harm you!”

“Now what?” Killua awkwardly scratched his head.

“WAAAH!” Leorio, once more in his dwarven costume, stormed through the entrance door. “Snow White! Beautiful Snow White is dead!” he cried.

And so that the world could still admire Snow White’s beauty, Gon, Killua and Leorio placed the body inside a transparent coffin.

“I can’t believe this is the end of the fairy tale,” Gon said, watching Kurapika’s motionless body through the coffin’s glass.

“Idiot!” Killua replied, “Have you forgotten? In every fairy tale, when the princess is in a pinch, a prince will soon come to her rescue.”

“A prince, you say?” Gon repeated and started thinking, “But if you, me and Kurapika are here, then the only person that could be the prince would be…”

They both paused, then shouted the same name, at the same time: “Leorio?!”

“No, I am here with you,” Leorio answered dryly, still in his dwarven costume. Gon and Killua blinked. “But then, who is the prince?!” they asked simultaneously.

At that moment, a graceful figure emerged from the woods. Make-up shone underneath his eyes, a tear and a star. An elegant cape smoothly fell down his shoulders and a shiny crown adorned his red hair.

“So, I heard there is a beautiful princess who needs a prince for her rescue,” the figure purred with a velvety voice.

“HISOKA?!” Gon, Killua and Leorio screamed in disbelief.

Hisoka strutted towards the coffin and gazed at Kurapika. “So, this is my princess?” Upon hearing Hisoka’s voice, Kurapika ripped his eyes open, pushed the glass lid away, and jumped out of the coffin.

“Ah, never mind! The princess is totally fine now,” Kurapika shouted, building as much distance between him and the suspicious prince as possible.

“Ah, too bad. Perhaps one of your friends would like to be my princess instead,” Hisoka hummed. His smile sent shivers down Gon and Killua’s spine.

“Sorry, but our next adventure awaits!” Gon quickly replied and hurried to cite the magic formula together with Killua.

_“Simsala!”_

“Aww, but I would love to dance together with you at a ball. At least once,” Hisoka hummed.

_“Simsala!”_

Gon and Killua spoke even faster now.

“You can’t leave the prince of your dreams alone now, can you?” Hisoka hummed

_“SIMSALA GRIMM!”_

Gon and Killua shouted and the flying book rushed to their rescue.

“Wait, take me with you!” Kurapika exclaimed and grabbed one edge of the book.

“Don’t you dare leaving me alone with that weirdo!” Leorio screamed and grabbed the other edge.

The four of them departed the world of Snow White and flew off to a new adventure in the World of Simsala.

Hisoka, the prince, stayed back and waved them goodbye.

**And so, the story ends – and they all kept getting creeped out by Hisoka’s weirdness happily ever after.**


	2. Hunterella

_A long, long time ago,_

_When miracles used to be reality_

_There was a spell that opens the gates to the world of Simsala_

_That magical place where all the famous heroes live_

_And the place fairy tales call their home._

_Alakazam! Simsala Grimm_

**“Are you ready for an adventure?”**

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful maiden, who had a cruel stepmother. The maiden was forced to do the unpleasant work of a servant, even sifting the cinders. Thus, everybody just mockingly called her Cinderella.

When Cinderella was seventeen years old, the king of the country held a great ball to which all the ladies in the country were invited. Cinderella’s stepmother, however, forbade her to attend the ball and so the poor maiden sat alone in the garden, crying bitterly.

Gon and Killua, our heroic adventurers, landed their magic book on the lawn and approached the weeping princess. Seeing her blond hair and familiar face, their eyes widened.

“Kurapika? You’re the princess again?!” Gon gasped.

“Yes, I am, just play along like you did last time,” Kurapika said through his fake tears.

Gon and Killua silently nodded at each other, then they continued to talk with “Cinderella”: “Oh Cinderella, there is no need to cry. You can still go to the ball and dance!”

“Oh, but I cannot,” Kurapika wailed, “You see, my evil stepmother ripped my dress! And I can’t go to the castle without a coach.”

As Kurapika continued to cry over his sorrow and the unkindness of his stepmother, a voice sounded from beneath the earth.

“Do not cry, Cinderella,” it spoke. Killua frowned. “I know that voice,” he said.

A head popped up from the ground. Gon and Kurapika suppressed a yelp.

“Aniki?!” Killua blurted.

Indeed, Illumi had suddenly appeared amidst the garden. He was Cinderella’s godmother, the good old fairy. “You shall go to the ball, because you are a kind, good girl. Bring me a large pumpkin,” Illumi ordered, swinging one of his needles like a magic wand.

Intimidated by the mass murderer’s presence, Killua, Gon and Kurapika obeyed. One of Illumi’s needle pierced through the pumpkin and it turned into a grand coach. Skillfully throwing around his needles, Illumi continued to work his bizarre magic. A rat transformed into a coachman; two mice were turned into footmen; four grasshoppers into white horses. Next Illumi flung his needles at Kurapika’s clothes – Kurapika yelped in panic – and the rags he had been wearing became rich satin robes, trimmed with point lace. Diamonds shone in his blonde hair and on his necks and in his arms. His shoes became a charming pair of glass slippers which shone brightly. Never had Gon and Killua seen such a lovely princess. And never would they have thought, Illumi was capable of such miracles.

“Now go to the ball my love,” Illumi said, “and enjoy yourself. But remember, you must leave the room before the clock strikes eleven. If you do not, I will murder you.” Illumi held up his needles as a threat. 

“Don’t you mean the dress will return to rags?!” Gon hastily jumped in.

Illumi blinked, “Ah yes, what the little guy said. Anyways, be back here before eleven.”

Still being intimidated by his first statement, Kurapika gulped and loudly thanked Illumi. He swore himself that he would _definitely_ be back at eleven no matter if his dress would return to rags or not. Gon, Killua and Kurapika stepped into the pumpkin coach and drove off. Illumi, the Fairy, returned to Fairyland – meaning he dug another hole and disappeared in it.

At the ball, Kurapika was greeted with great respect. He was so beautiful that everybody looked at him and wondered who this fair princess was. Astonished by his beauty, even the royal prince himself asked Kurapika to dance with him.

When Gon, Killua and Kurapika saw who the prince was, they blinked several times and still could not believe what they saw.

“L-L-Leorio?! Are you really the prince this time?!” Gon shouted and examined his friend. Leorio was wearing a truly noble suit, and a crown was adorning his hair. Even his messy sideburns had been trimmed.

“Fair lady, you are truly beautiful! Could I have this dance with you?” Leorio perfectly played his role and bowed in front of Kurapika, offering him a gloved hand.

Kurapika laughed, “It would be my pleasure, dear prince.” Taking his hand, the pair drifted off into the ballroom. Too bad, Leorio’s dance skills weren’t even near as well developed as his courtesy. Gon and Killua watched with a pained expression, as the prince and princess danced across the floor. Poor Kurapika had to permanently be on guard, that Leorio wouldn’t step on his feet. Not to mention his glass slippers would burst, the moment that happened!

“Dang, Leorio really has two left feet. Even a drunk lizard would do a better job,” Killua groaned. His words seriously agitated the ever-so-courteous prince.

“You little twerp, say it to my face if I’m bothering you!” Shouting wildly, Leorio ran across the hall back to Gon and Killua. Kurapika stepped between them, before Leorio would strangle Killua in his anger. He pointed out the window at a clock tower. Only a few minutes remained until the clocks would strike eleven.

“My prince, I am terribly sorry, but my attendants and I must take our leaves,” Kurapika apologized, though he seemed oddly relieved he wouldn’t have to dance with Leorio anymore. Together, Gon, Killua and Kurapika hurried out the ballroom. Alas, they ran so fast Kurapika lost one of his glass slippers. He did not pick it up but rushed to the door. In the meanwhile, Killua took the slipper and threw it into Leorio’s face, so he would not catch up. The white-haired boy stuck his tongue out to the prince and quickly followed his friends into the pumpkin coach.

However, the prince did not give up. He loved the princess so much that he was resolved to marry her. And as he felt sure that no one else could wear such a delicate glass slipper, he sent out a herald to proclaim that whichever lady in this kingdom could put on this shoe, shall be his wife.

All the noble women in the country tried the slipper, but everyone of them did so in vain. Finally, Leorio’s search led him to the household of Kurapika, Gon and Killua.

“Fair ladies of this manor,” Leorio shouted, as he stepped through the front door, “Whoever can put on this delicate glass slipper shall be my future wife!”

The trio rushed to the entrance hall. “Amazing Kurapika! You’re going to be a queen!” Gon exulted while running.

“Let’s just hope, I don’t have to dance with Leorio a lot,” Kurapika laughed.

“We better hurry up, before your evil stepmother comes and ruins everything,” Killua threw in and they finally arrived at the main hall.

Kurapika sat down on a stool in front of Leorio and stretched out his foot. “My prince,” he said, “Would you allow me to try on the slipper?”

Slowly Leorio kneeled down and carefully grabbed Kurapika’s heel. As he drove the slipper closer and closer to his foot, a weird purple mass suddenly grabbed the shoe and ripped it out of Leorio’s hand. The glass shattered into thousand pieces. The purple mass flew back into the fingertips of his owner. Everybody stared at the figure who had just appeared in the room.

“Oh no, the glass slipper broke!” a velvety voice wailed. The sadness was obviously faked. The owner of the voice winked at Leorio, “Hello there, darling prince. May I introduce myself? I am Cinderella’s stepmother.”

“Hi-“ Gon gasped.

“Hi-“ Killua repeated in disbelief.

“HISOKA?!” Leorio finally screamed.

The evil stepmother had been Hisoka all along! With an innocent grin, the redhead let his “Bungee Gum”, with which he had just destroyed the glass slipper, disappear. “Do not worry, my darling prince,” Hisoka purred. “One glass slipper may have broken but shoes always come in a pair. I still have the other one,” with those words, Hisoka held a translucent, beautiful clown shoe made out of glass in the air.

“I am sure this shoe will fit me, and you can make me your personal queen. My dar~ling~ prince~” Hisoka seductively breathed the last two words and blew Leorio a small kiss.

This horrifying gesture send shivers down Gon’s and Killua’s spine.

“We gotta run! Now!” Killua shouted and together with his best friend started to chant the magic formula.

_“Simsala!”_

“You’re running away from me again?” Hisoka pouted.

Gon and Killua spoke even faster now:

_“Simsala!”_

“I guess I’ll have to stay here alone with Cinderella and the prince then,” Hisoka thought out loud.

_“SIMSALA GRIMM!”_

Gon and Killua chanted in unison and their savior, the magic book, came flying towards them.

“Ah! Kurapika, hurry!” Leorio grabbed Kurapika’s wrist and they jumped onto the book, next to Gon and Killua, soaring away from the dangerous clown with his dangerous glass clown shoe in his hand, still grinning at them from down below.

“In the next world I don’t wanna be the prince anymore,” Leorio wailed.

The four heroes departed the world of Cinderella and flew off to a new adventure in the World of Simsala.

Hisoka, the evil stepmother, stayed back and waved them goodbye.

**And so, the story ends – and they all kept getting creeped out by Hisoka’s weirdness happily ever after.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wanted this to be a oneshot but I was in the mood for a second chapter~ It's real fun to write these tales xD


End file.
